Communication is important because it helps us to build and maintain our relationships. When communicating effectively, we are better able to connect whilst exchanging our thoughts and feelings, creating mutual understanding.

On the other hand, poor communication can instead encourage misunderstandings and disagreements. This often leads to hurt feelings and creates distance within a relationship.

Examples of different communication styles include:

• Passive: Indirect, inhibited, and self-denying communication. E.g., “Your feelings are more important than mine”.
• Passive Aggressive: Communication that is indirect and self-denying at first, though self-enhancing at the expense of others later. E.g., “Thanks for doing that, but I could do it better”.
• Aggressive: Direct, attacking, and controlling communication. E.g., “No, you are wrong!”
• Assertive: Communication that is appropriately honest, direct, and empathetic. E.g., “I won’t be able to cook tonight because I will be working late”.

When practicing effective communication, it is important to demonstrate an assertive style whilst also being open to negotiation, e.g., “If you wash the dishes, I’ll put them away”.

Also, describe your situation objectively and stick to the facts, whilst clearly expressing your feelings and what you would like to happen. E.g., “I feel ____ because ____I would like ____”.

Do be mindful and appear confident, whilst reinforcing positive outcomes with a smile or “thank you”. Communicating with this in mind will help you clearly express your needs and wants whilst explaining your experience without blame.

It is also important to be kind and gentle whilst communicating, this includes showing interest in what the other person is saying, having an easy-going attitude, and validating your partner's thoughts and feelings e.g., “I understand”.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict in relationships can be emotionally taxing and difficult to navigate. During these times, five main styles of conflict resolution are commonly used. Let’s take a look at them:

1. Avoidance: This style hopes to minimise conflict by ignoring the issue and avoiding tension. However, it also creates distance within the relationship by being unable to voice your needs.
2. Competing: This style rejects the needs of your partner and ignores the possibility of compromise. In this way, your partner may feel unheard, and the conversation is likely to escalate.
3. Accommodation: This style involves putting the needs of your partner before your own. This can be useful when the issue is trivial, however, it can also lend itself to avoidance.
4. Compromise: This style encourages the perspective that both you and your partner are important. With compromise, there is a better chance of reaching a balanced outcome. However, this might be that you both win at the expense of losing.
5. Collaboration: This style involves talking through conflict and negotiating a solution with your partner. Collaboration ensures that each person’s needs are considered and addressed so that you both feel satisfied.

As a conflict resolution style, Collaboration is considered to be particularly effective. This is because it aims to produce long-term results which can be better maintained within the relationship. Compared to the previous styles, Collaboration encourages respect and understanding whereby strength and closeness are also promoted.

Here are some tips on how to manage conflict more effectively:

1. Remain calm and non-judgemental, express your needs without blame and attempt to open a constructive conversation.
2. Acknowledge and validate your partner’s needs and their perspective, even if it differs from your own.
3. Be respectful and aware of your tone and body language whilst speaking.
4. Allow your partner the opportunity to speak, avoid cutting them off before they finish talking.
5. Avoid generalisations such as “never” and “always”, these comments can increase tensions by leading your partner to become defensive.